Today I woke up and felt a little uneasy. The car accident was on my mind and it was getting me down but I didn’t want to feed into my emotions so I kept going. Then the girls started speaking about when we were in the hospital and Raegan being by herself. So again I felt sad. This time, my eyes welled up but I just told the girls I don’t want to talk much about it. I woke up with that on my mind and now the girls are mentioning it too? Something told me to go back to my discharge papers. 2 years ago today I got discharged from the hospital after that terrible car accident. I was the last one to be discharged. My mental was subconsciously going through the emotions from 2 years ago. Of course our lives changed on the 12th but it was something about walking out, or should I say being wheeled out on May 19th that felt different. I remember being happy to leave NC but I also remember feeling sad and uncertain. I was in so much pain and dreading the long ride home in the rented mini van. I now had a walker and wasn’t sure if I was going to ever feel the same, walk the same, run the same, just be me...the same again. Those 7 days in the hospital I had become so dependent on the hospital staff that it made me self conscious about being on my own at home. As we were leaving it sounded so loud in my head. All my thoughts just racing and I remember everyone saying bye to us and being so happy we were leaving. We were the talk of the hospital since our entire family was involved but NO FATALITIES. We were blessed. I heard it so many times within the 7 days and it’s true. We were, we are blessed, but, I was also confused. I hadn’t seen Raegan in person in 7 days. I hadn’t seen her since she received surgery for her skull fracture. My baby girl only 20 months old and she didn’t have her mom with her when she was in pain. I wasn’t there for her when she needed me and that ate me up. I didn’t know if she was going to have any delays due to such a severe head injury. I didn’t know if she was going to be mad at me for not being there. I just didn’t know. Leaving the hospital was hard for me but it was the start of a new day. It was a second chance at living. So yes the 12th changed our lives but the 19th shows so much more significance to me. The emotions that I experienced leaving that hospital that day will always resonate with me every single day but especially on May 19th of every year. Thanks be to God! I am happy to be alive and well. Happy my family is alive and well! When I was being told I’d look back in a year at how far I would come it was hard to foresee but here I am. I have aches and pains and I’m not able to do all that I could before but I’m grateful. We all have scars to show from the accident but everyone is good. Ron is doing great, the girls are thriving. Especially Rae. She is the smartest little girl I know. She warms my heart so much. I thank God everyday for the blessings he has given us. If you read to the end thank you and I appreciate you. I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings. I have so much more to share but this is it for now. I know we all have felt or still feel uneasy about experiences we have had in our own lives. Dealing with this pandemic certainly has more people on edge. You’re not alone. These experiences are what shapes us and helps us to grow. Take it one day at a time. ❤️
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Hello, I'm Nakeiya!I decided to start Fabulous Mommys to help women and mothers throughout their journey of motherhood. Everyone's journey is not the same although we share similarities. One thing for certain is we ALL need a village and I strive to provide just that through education, tips and resources to help our village along. Moming isn't always easy or fabulous but it is rewarding. Some days I feel like Beyonce when I wake up and by the end of the day I look and feel like a hurricane hit me. Join me as I share my own stories, some recipes and fun! |